you may get hurt if you read this blog if you are my ex

When I first started writing this in July I wrote a warning sign because I know certain people in my life will read this and it will hurt them. That's  the reason why I never finish the post. It's the reason why I haven't written in months honestly. But I'm sorry if I broke up with you, I didn't want to be with you anymore. I will no longer allow you to make me feel guilty. So I will write about what i Did in July that changed me



Where do I begin...

At the time I thought Mike and I were phasing out due to my promotion at the airport. But after this situation we continued to hang out but my heart wasn't fully in it. Now we come to the point we just hang out because we are really good friends and enjoy each other's company and keep each other company until whenever and whatever comes along. We aren't together I say I'm single, he says he is in an "open relationship" Meaning we won't sleep with anyone else but I can kiss whoever I want. Sure he can think what he wants. I know if he and someone else were in a room together, I know who I walk to.

I come out of the bathroom into the hot sweaty Miami club. I see the boy I came to see. This man that I swear swept me of my feet enough that one night in Florence to this day will always look back and think one word, magically.  We haven't kissed since that night  in Europe. We couldn't wait for dinner to be over. Not that it was bad but because it was so good. The food was amazing, all four of us on the double date were laughing as if we knew each other for years. but now we're alone, finally just me and him. Yes. we are n a crowed club, but we only see each other. We look straight at each other as I walk toward him and he grabs my face with his hands and I grab his arms and we kiss. This kiss is to powerful I swear my foot just about popped. Just like the old movies, just like the princess diaries. But this was not a movie I actually felt my foot pop. To stop my foot and move it around because I'm just so happy I start to dance. As we kiss we start to dance around in the old fashion salsa way. A girl from this generation from NY does not dance like that, but it was perfect. A kiss turns into a dance turns into a even better night that anyone can imagine.

The whole vacation was incredible. I was afraid to go down there because being a little old fashion I felt a guy should come see you. In all honesty I also wanted to party in Miami, he was just my excuse. I took feminism by the balls and said Iwill go down and if it all sucks all I need is a shot and a beach with my girl and we will have the best time of our lives. Live life to the fullest baby!!!

Knowing that everything with my Florence boy worked out we had an even better time. I stayed a lady but enjoyed a little romance that I truly believe this generation of woman are starving for, Now I just have to live my knowing there is an amazing guy that lives 1000 miles away I can never be with. Hopefully one day that amazing weekend is enough knowing that some people spend their whole lives never feeling that much excitement or special or infatuated with anyone is their lives. I'm lucky and happy I went. Sometimes you have to make your own fairy tale.

Tattoo

On Sept 11, 2010 I got some balls and got a tattoo. One more thing crossed off my bucket list!!!! I got the words My Way written on my hip on the backside. It's in honor of Frank Sinatra's song My Way.

To me it means:

I've lived life to the fullest and I've traveled to Europe alone which is not the way where I come from you do a vacation and I understand I lied to my parents about going alone but I did it my way.

I have some regrets but not enough to mention but i did what i did in my life and I did it my way.

In Bon Jovi's song It's my life he references this song as well in the chorus which also means so much to me

"It's my life, it's now or never, I ain't gonna live forever, I just wanna live while I'm alive.
It's my life, my heart is like an open highway, like Frankie said I did it my way, I just wana live while I'm alive"

When I'm old and gross and i look at my tattoo and people say why did you do it. i will say in My 20's I lived life and I did it  My Way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!