romance?

How can my parents who will be married for 39 years this april still hold hands and kiss each other? I can not comprehend how they still love each other after all this time. I also cannot understand how I grew up with such parents that are so in love, in fact not one member in my entire family is divorced. Everyone has had a long lasting, loving marriage. Yet I am so cynical when it come to love and romance. In fact what the hell is romance? because to me its just something from my parents generation. I feel like romance is as rare as needle in a haystack and love is as rare as a diamond in the.. You know where I"m going with this. (He point I am making is I, one who grew up with a man bringing home a woman flowers just because, and parents who did adore each other is more screwed than parents who ended in divorce. Before you jump me let me give my point of view. My parents gave me this completely unrealistic idea of how love is suppose to be. Now that I am a 23 year old woman I have learned all men suck and the love my parents have for each other does not exist in this generation. People lie, cheat whatever, not just men but woman too. I have my faults so do all the men from my past. Love has become like a business plan. People do not follow their gut or their heart, that world be as foolish as following a hunch in business. Love has become something that one weighs and measures the cost and pain ahead of time before they make the decision to follow through. No more sending flowers, notes, chocolates, putting in any effort for the person your care about. My father said he would have flown anywhere if my mother was there. My mother said she knew by the first date he was the one. Today that just doesn't exist. So thank you dad because you know what the fathers that show their daughters how bad can men suck are bad but the dads who show how good men are and just the men you know bad are pretty sucky too. In the words of my dear friend nicole marci "men suck.. Buy me a drink"

working girl

Now it is official, I am a working girl. Today I filed out paperwork and I'm in the system. I actually had a conversation about 401k's and vacation days and the big one salary. A year ago I didn't even know what a 401k was. Now I must meet my monthly quota, wear suits, and worst of all get up at 6am. I couldn't help but remember the days when I would dream about this. I would say "I can't wait to have a real job." I only thought about the money and enjoying my weekends off. I had no idea 9 to 5 was a made up term Dolly sang about and it isn't actually an average work schedule. I am so glad I went to europe when I did. Now I feel like I had the life experience not many people can have at a time I do not have to worry about mortgages or babies. Going to europe was my dream. When people would say what do you want to do when you grow up, or what's your dream, I would say "go to Europe." Now that it"s over I'm a little depressed. But I got to do it. For that I thank God for. Now that I'm a working girl I have no idea when my next vacation will be. II worry though. I worry I will fail. I worry I won't have any fun anymore. I worry I will loose myself in my work and can't have time to be me. I wish I could just go back to Europe.